Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
organizing the empties. That sober.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
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