It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
