I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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