this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
