Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
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