I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Randomize
