hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
