Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
