in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
