we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
