I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
