Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
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