I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
