just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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