we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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