i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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