if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
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