Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
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