btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's great music for shaving your balls
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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