Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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