what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
