found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
