Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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