Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
