Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Randomize
