You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Semen is not good for contacts.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
