is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Randomize
