k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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