Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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