Your mouth is God's brothel.
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
