Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Randomize
