my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
This is my gift to your gina
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
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