Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
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