Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
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