remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
I am in a vortex of obligation.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
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Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
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