So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
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