Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
