if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
