filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
