My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
