nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
