i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize
