I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
