OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize
