wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
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