you mean i was at the winter classic?
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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