i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
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