She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize
