We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
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