I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
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