just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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