We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
