This girl is more easily done than said...
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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