I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
the condom got lost in my hair
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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