We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
20 People Who Caught Their Significant Others Cheating and Hand Over Some Major Karma
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
33 Memes You’ll Find Uncomfortably Relatable If You’ve Ever Been Through A Messy Breakup
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!