I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
