Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I think i got beer on your cat.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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