i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
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