we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
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