we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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