tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize