alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize
