So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
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