I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
