I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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