Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
