Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I think a kid would responsible me up
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Randomize
