Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
