so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
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